Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn Divorce. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng
Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn Divorce. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng

Thứ Sáu, 13 tháng 3, 2015

Lunch: A Great Divorce Story

A client from years ago recently hired me again.  A Southern matriarch forever stretching the bounds of goodness, she made the decision, after widowhood, to downsize and move closer to children/grandchildren.
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There is a template of living in her realm, in addition to goodness.  Hospitality and courtesy.  Elegance & comfort too, she's an interior decorator.  Unpleasantness is not ignored, merely hit head on with clear eyes, thinking, action, moving forward to joy.
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Community activist, one charitable group she formed, decades ago, has raised significant funds, all plowed back into her community.  Book club, bible study group, & more......she's active

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Of course our Garden Design work begins with lunch in the sunroom overlooking the garden.  Homemade chicken salad over lettuce, designer chips, crisp saltines marinated overnite in Tabasco/red pepper flakes/powdered ranch dressing, and iced tea.
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Conversation.
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Life lessons arrive to each, I've been fortunate, having many arrive in exactly this manner.
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With a wicked smile she said, "Hope you don't mind I shared your divorce story with a friend."  She knew I wouldn't mind.  My story needs to be shared.  Victim of alcoholic excesses with 30 year spouse, blah-ti-boring-blah, it is the pivot from victim to survivor, which is a terrible location to be stuck too, to thriver, and how it was achieved that must be told.  But not here today.  I have a new story from her.
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Her friend, long married, had finally reached a court date for divorce.  Wealthy, her husband was armed with Atlanta's best lawyer, and she was about to tank financially.  An amazing choice was made, from the bible.  She chose 10 of her closest friends who knew she, and her soon to be divorced husband, long and well.  She wanted her best girlfriends to stand with her, in court, to give her strength & love, and more importantly, bear witness.
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As all of these ladies, matriarchs all, filed into the court room, to sit with their friend, and look her husband in the eyes, he was vanquished.  He became flushed, and fidgety.  A jury of his peers, indeed.  Hushed words with his lawyer.
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The divorce settled equitably that day.  No one was taken advantage of, no one harmed financially.
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This woman used precepts of her longtime bible study, her only ammunition, and Providence smiled.  She chose not to be afraid, and put her faith in G*d.      

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If this were a tv movie of the week, the script would be stupid.
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Instead, passing along the story, is strength.  Victim hood is a choice.  Hope is not foolish.  Bearing witness is a tool.  Do not be afraid to ask for help.
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After lunch we had desert, vanilla ice cream with Hershey's chocolate, 2 little cubes of homemade brownies, and a large red ripe strawberry with dollop of chocolate on top.
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Then I designed her backyard, and left with a check.
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Love my job.
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Garden & Be Well,     XO Tara
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Top pic, Bassett Furniture, bottom pic Ralph Lauren.

Thứ Ba, 29 tháng 4, 2014

Design: Intentions more Powerful than Money

Where you put your attentions you will create your life.
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Yesterday, below, in my bower.
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With no money in a blue-collar working class neighborhood squarely within the prototypical demographics of today's suburbia near a major USA city.
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AKA my starter home, 3 decades later, with the alcoholic spouse during those decades gone.
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Where I put my attentions I created my life.
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Beautiful garden, beautiful life.  A thought, now my truth.
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Gratitude for that long marriage.  Forced into creating a life that was dream, until the plodding-plodding-plodding made it real.
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No regrets about any of my choices. 


Flowers falling on flowers yesterday, below.  Foetid & exhilarating.


My brain is repulsed by the foetidness of these composting flowers, yet the DNA thrives on its highest plain in the foetidness of my garden.  Life itself.
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Bower- Mirriam-Webster:     1:  an attractive dwelling or retreat



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:  a lady's private apartment in a medieval hall or castle
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:  a shelter (as in a garden) made with tree boughs or vines twined together
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Odd, but the foetidness of yesterday's flowers made me want to take off my clothes and roll-baby-roll !  Laughing & shouting of course.
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Now, tell me about street/prescription happy drugs?  Poor unfortunate souls needing those.  
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Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
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For a beautiful garden & home filling you with joy, become my client, local/on-line.
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Award winning speaker, hire me for your group, local/out-of-state.
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Books by Tara Dillard, Amazon
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Tara Dillard & Associates Design: farm to city pied-a-terre.
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Construction by Award Winning:
Shaefer Heard Construction, licensed home-builder, renovation - new construction.  Heard's Landscaping a unit of SHC.  3 decades of service.